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Welcome to Motherhood
Dear first-time mom,
You are strong. You are courageous.
I am so proud of you.
The first few weeks after your little bundle arrives earth side will be spent in a haze of soft, baggy clothes, sticky with milk, and arms full of love. You may feel clumsy and unsure, but remember that all your baby needs is you. There is no right way to be a mother, you are already exactly who your baby needs you to be. As a first-time mom, the notion of this all-consuming, dependent need might feel like too much, especially when they hand you the fragile baby that you have only just created. It’s okay to feel that way, lean on your partner to hold you. Let yourself be mothered, so that you have the will to mother yourself.
You will run on adrenaline for awhile which will help get you through the two hour wakings around the clock, but eventually you will start to run out of juice as you settle comfortably into your new routine. Rest momma. Breathe. Your hormones are wacky, and your body is in shock. The life-changing and body-altering process of bringing your baby earthward does not end when you birth. Your body continues to shift and heal internally for one year following your birth experience, and the shifting and healing will manifest itself uniquely to you. Listen and look for it, acknowledge it, then let it go.
Every day, your body will heal a little more. You will heal physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. But all of these components will heal at different times and only as your body processes your birth experience. The person that comes out on the other side may not be someone you entirely recognize. You are still there, though you may be buried amidst a cycle of sleeping, diaper changes, nursing, and infatuation with your new person for a little while.
The soreness and swelling between your legs will subside, and you will feel less pressure over time. There is discomfort at first, but mother yourself gently as you also mother your baby, and your body will thank you. This is a season of warm sitz baths, nutrient-rich foods, hot teas, and comfortable clothes. You may feel empty. Empty in your belly and sometimes gutted in your heart with the flow of emotions that sneaks up on you at the same time every day like the slow tide of the ocean. It’s okay, this gets better. It will be okay, you are not a bad mother. You will grow stronger, brighter, and more confident day by day. Be kind to yourself in your healing, and remember that you created a miracle.
Rest when you can. Sleep where you have access to your baby, and your baby has access to you. He’s never been away from you before, remember? All he knows is you are safety, nourishment, and life. It might be hard for him sometimes. People will tell you not to nurse your baby to sleep, but it’s okay if you want to do that. Your baby loves cuddling to sleep at your breast, warm against your skin and nourished with the richness of your milk. You aren’t creating a bad habit, you are creating connection and security. When he’s ready and asleep, put him somewhere you are comfortable for his nap, then you lay down as well. You may not sleep, but find comfort in your soft pillow and a warm bed.
Lay still and listen to your breathing. Acknowledge the discomfort in your body, then let it go. Acknowledge the rhythm of your breath, then say thank you for the life-giving functions of your body. Look for where you might be holding tension or tiredness… Is there tightness in your chest? Fogginess in your head? A twist in your belly? Let it go. Take deep breaths and feel your lungs expand to their fullest capacity, then let it go. You are whole. Rest.
When you are ready, surround yourself with community and love. It’s okay if you don’t want people to hold your baby right away. Your baby only just arrived! For nine months, you carried and nurtured him within your body while your arms ached to hold and snuggle. Now, he’s here in the flesh. He’s yours. Tell your partner how they can support you in what you feel comfortable with, lean into their strength and draw energy from them.
As a first-time mom, people will give you so much advice that you didn’t ask for, and it’s okay for you to ignore it. You know your baby better than anyone. The day you gave birth, you were born as a mother. Not everything is instinctual, you and your baby will learn together as you go along. Together. Your sweet little one has their own personality and preferences upon arrival, you’ll spend the rest of your life learning what that looks like as they grow and play. Above all else, that baby loves you. Above all else, you belong together.
Congratulations momma
If you are a first-time mom, make sure & check out my other posts written just for you!
- The Basics of Breastfeeding
- My Breastfeeding Journey
- Painful Sex
- Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy for Moms
- The Fourth Trimester
- Postpartum Sex
Let me know what you think in the comments below!
This is beautiful 💕 The early stages of motherhood are so isolating and so magical. You’ve captured that perfectly.
Thanks Emily!!! Just the sweetest times…
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